Best ways to keep your kids from becoming meth addicts

Sfj

Best Ways To Keep Your Kids From Becoming Meth Addicts

Like I said earlier, this will be controversial. Some of you don't like my opinions, and/or style of posting. For those I say, Please ignore this post.

There are no guarantees or absolutes, we can establish that right now. But what if we could increase the odds dramatically? What if you could cut the risk of having your teen experiment with drugs by about seventy-five per cent? Not one hundred per cent. But seventy-five is pretty good.

How about reducing the risk to adults by a factor of eight? Wouldn't it be nice to improve your odds by about eighty-seven and a half per cent? How are my friends the skeptics doing at this point?

I'm reading a book called The PURSUIT of HAPPINESS by Chris Gardner
It is an amazing story. Chris Gardner inspired me so greatly that I decided to create this post as a result of his book. It is being made into a motion picture starring Will Smith. One of the things he said was, "I hold one thing dearer than all else, my commitment to my son."

I also read the Bible, every word of it. Parts of it many thousands of times. I did a search in Strong's Concordance and found that the term 'Fatherless' is found about forty-three time, whereas the term 'motherless' is not found at all. It is clear from reading the relevant scriptures, that the God of the Bible has special mercy and favor for the fatherless. Does that begin to tell us something? That maybe fathers are important after all?

The following is from Dr. Mary Holley's book, Crystal Meth, They Call It Ice.

Quote:
The spiritual health of a teenager is extremely important to resisting pressures to use drugs. The strength of this association was described eloquently by the National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse at Columbia University in 2001. Teens who never attend worship services are four times more likely to abuse drugs as those who attend services weekly. Adults who never attend worship services are eight times more likely to abuse drugs.

Quote:
There are many factors going into that figure, income, education, marital status of the parents for example, but the most important variable was the spiritual condition of the teen's father. The father's attendance at church was the single most predictive factor for prevention of drug abuse among teenagers in this study. The most important thing you can do to reduce the risk of drug abuse in your family is to take your kids to church.?

I can easily see some scoffing at this and calling it bogus posting. But look at the 12-step programs. By far, they are the most successful of all peer-to-peer programs helping alcoholics and addicts to recovery. Twelve step programs are very adamant about the spiritual nature of the program. The quote above, of Dr. Holley, does not specify a particular denomination or religion. It does place an emphasis on the spirituality and the demonstration of that spirituality by the father.

I'm sure that more controversy will follow.

Replies...

LivesWith
Wolves

Re: Best Ways To Keep Your Kids From Becoming Meth Addict

Hummmm...... interesting topic.

My Grandparents were strong in the church and my entire extended family were church goers. My dad went to church with my mom and us kids went to Sunday school, then later to church. We were Presbyterians - they love to pot luck and have parties.

I tried various drugs as a kid, but didn't become a hard core addict. I don't attend church as an adult, but am very spiritual and live my belief daily.

I DO BELIEVE that family (mother/father figures) need to spend time as a family together. Doing things with each other, not just sitting on the couch staring at TV.

Values are extremely important and religion helps build those. My son's father took him to church regularly (Catholic) and it really helped my son. I remember conversations with him when he was a young teen and he didn't believe in God. I told him my beliefs. Today, one of my son's most important possessions is a picture of God in a gold frame. I think it helps him tremendously to believe today.

Savedin
illinois

Re: Best Ways To Keep Your Kids From Becoming Meth Addict

AWESOME!!!
I am thrilled to read this post!
I think that church and having a personal relationship with God can give teens AND adults the support they need in order to choose the "right path".

katelin24

Re: Best Ways To Keep Your Kids From Becoming Meth Addict

Anything can give people the right path, not just religion.
I've never been to church, am in fact an atheist, as some of you may know. I've NEVER gotten high, never smoked pot or done any drug. Why? Because I had a wonderful father who taught me wrong from right. Has nothing to do with religion.
My little sister wasn't baptized and never goes to church, yet she's never gotten high either.
My husband has VERY religious parents. Fanatic, in fact. They used their church as an excuse to beat the sh*t out of him when he was little. I'm talking 4, 5 years old.
He's done every drug known to man, and he can't stay sober more than a day or two before giving in and drinking or smoking pot. Why? Because his parents taught him that if he couldn't sit through their 5-hour bible studies (at 4 years old) he was a worthless piece of sh*t.

My mom was raised by extreme catholics, she was put in a catholic convent school at a very young age. She graduated and went on the rampage, doing drugs, drinking, and getting pregnant. She ended up losing her kids because her drug use was so bad. Now, she's 100% clean. When I asked her why she was that way, she said she wasn't allowed to have a thought of her own growing up and just went wild when she got out. She wasn't allowed to watch TV or go out with friends or anything. Ever.

These may be extreme cases, but you cannot convince me that religion will help keep everyone free from drugs. Some people believe and that is their personal choice, and yes that belief may keep them sober. But I don't believe this:

Quote:
Teens who never attend worship services are four times more likely to abuse drugs as those who attend services weekly. Adults who never attend worship services are eight times more likely to abuse drugs.

or this:

Quote:
The most important thing you can do to reduce the risk of drug abuse in your family is to take your kids to church.?

Anyone can go to church. Like my in-laws and my grandparents. Does that make them good people? Hell no. All it did was give them justification to abuse their children and ultimately create more meth/drug addicts.

The best way to keep your kids from becoming meth addicts? Love them and treat them good and teach them right from wrong. And even then, there are no guarantees. Are you going to tell Bobbie that it's her fault Jamie is using meth? Because she didn't make Jamie go to church enough?

pcejp

Re: Best Ways To Keep Your Kids From Becoming Meth Addict

Interesting, but like you said there are variables.

My 17 year old daughter is/was raised in a Christian home. Two parent family, middle income, basic middle America. The entire family goes to church every Sunday with the grandparents. Our three children were all baptized and confirmed. Two of the three (including my daughter) were team leaders in our church's youth ministry. We have always have opened discussions about anything and everything.
So I guess she is one of those that was unable to stay drug free. But as of this writing she is 10 months meth free. Maybe her background is making her stronger in her recovery?

Savedin
illinois

Re: Best Ways To Keep Your Kids From Becoming Meth Addict

I think this is where the statistics come in. Not 100% of Christians will never use drugs. The fact that we've all been involved (somehow) with drugs and alcohol significantly raises our chances of knowing those that use. I'm sure that those who have never used or been around drugs could name numerous Christians who have never used.
Does that make sense??

katelin24

Re: Best Ways To Keep Your Kids From Becoming Meth Addict

prec- I am sorry about your daughter but glad to hear of her recovery. Her religious upbringing is probably helping her a lot.

saved- Yes of course it makes sense. All I was doing was sharing what I know. Also, keep in kind that I live in a VERY religious community, and that this religion can verge on fanatic, so maybe my experiences haven't been that good. This has been a hard place to grow up, because as a kid, those of us who weren't this religion were treated very badly by everyone who belongs to the religion, which seems to be well over half the population.

chrisgonz

Re: Best Ways To Keep Your Kids From Becoming Meth Addict

I never followed a religion while raising my kids.
I taught my kids to act with what they thought was wrong or right. Told them all I knew about drugs and the outcomes I'd seen of it.

I went to church every Sunday as a youngster.
I got strung-out BIG TIME!!!
I didn't get clean until I realized I had to fight the elements of the world, not of spirituality.

I raised my children alone 95% of the time. Things were/are better when I've raised my kids alone.

I have 2 grown children, 1 teen.

Both grown children have never used meth/speed. Both tried pot, both chose not to use. Both live on their own, both attend college. Both follow their own paths.
I think religion is scary, how their are rules and stuff.
I think if people act with their conscious, we'd all get along better.

djmom11

Re: Best Ways To Keep Your Kids From Becoming Meth Addict

Most interesting of topics as usual SFJ. I always enjoy your posts even if I disagree because you make us think.

Maybe fathers are important after all? Yes, fathers are so very important. No matter if you have a son or a daughter it is important that their father be a part of their lives.

Teens who never attend worship services are four times more likely to abuse drugs as those who attend services weekly. Adults who never attend worship services are eight times more likely to abuse drugs.? Hmm, I guess I could see that helping. But we all have incidents where that is not the case. In our household my girls and I went to church when they were young. My husband did not go. He was raised in an overly/strict religious home, and rebelled from it. I did not make my kids go, and as is with me, I stopped going. I believe in God but not necessarily religion. If that makes any sense! My parents did not go to church the only drugs I ever used was alcohol and pot and never became addicted but am addicted to nicotine. Now my husband has a cousin who was brought up in a church-going home, she did use drugs for a while. I saw the signs, my husband couldn't believe it, but later found out it was true. She did not, that I know of, become an addict.

There are many factors going into that figure, income, education, marital status of the parents for example, but the most important variable was the spiritual condition of the teen's father.? In our family well, low income, I have an AA degree, my husband got his GED, we have been happily married now for 26 years. No my husband did not attend church, I did and the girls did, but not regularly. Funny thing is now my husband is more likely to attend church then I am. Oh and my father in church what a laugh ? by statistics I suppose I should be an addict. My parents divorced when I was young, my parents did not attend church, I was molested as a child, after the divorce our family was very low-income, my mother never graduated from high school, my father was in the air force, after the divorce he was rarely involved in our lives, then our step-father was an alcoholic who also molested me. I am blessed I guess, or maybe we are born to be an addict or not?. who knows.

I think that your beliefs can and do play an important role. Even when I did not attend church, my girls knew my beliefs. That I have faith in God. I think there are a lot of contributing factors to addiction. As I have stated many times, I think that most are self-medicating. That they have unresolved problems, and this is their way of dealing with it.

We were not a perfect family ? far from it. But there wasn't any child abuse, domestic violence, drug abuse, and we were not so poor that we were hungry or without basic necessities. My home was never trashed, not always perfectly clean, but never gross. Did I make mistakes ? oh yeah! At times I was too lenient, I was not good at confrontation, sometimes it was better (for me) just to let it slide cause I didn't want to argue about it.

My addiction had emotional problems from a young age. the guilt is there in me for not knowing about that for several years! Sometimes I think a post like this can just add to the guilt a parent might feel. We are taught You did not Cause it, You can not Control it, and You can not Cure it. But then you read something like this and think 'OMG, maybe it is my fault'. But you know, I don't believe it is my fault. Maybe I didn't help in the best ways, I don't know. You can only do what you can, and in the end it is up to the addict to quit.

Savedin
illinois

Re: Best Ways To Keep Your Kids From Becoming Meth Addict

Katelin-

That doesn't sound like Christianity to me. It's not what I consider Christianity anyway. I'm sorry you've been treated so poorly.
I guess I shouldn't judge, though. That's God's job.
Nice talkin' with ya.

katelin24

Re: Best Ways To Keep Your Kids From Becoming Meth Addict

Saved-
Oh well this group of people considers itself Christian but I beg to differ based on what I know Christianity is supposed to be like.
I'm not sorry cuz it taught me just how much I like my own company and that friends are nice to have but not necessary.

Yep, not my place to judge either. Karma or whatever usually takes care of it anyway.

Nice talking to you too, its nice to be able to state my opinions and not get jumped on.

Penel0pe

Re: Best Ways To Keep Your Kids From Becoming Meth Addict

Quote:
I believe in God ? but not necessarily religion. If that makes any sense!

It makes all the sense in the world to me!

chrisgonz

Re: Best Ways To Keep Your Kids From Becoming Meth Addict

I'm a Christian, I believe in Christ.

I don't believe in religion, so I don't follow it. I act with my heart, not by a set of rules laid out by a group of people.

hp8500
59ph

Re: Best Ways To Keep Your Kids From Becoming Meth Addict

What a great post on a (yes, indeed) controversial (but it shouldn't really be) subject. How would that statement do in a high school English class?

It is heartbreaking that religion has been used as a reason for inducing guilt, for parental control, for abuse or whatever. A family can belong to any church, religion, faith etc... but if the overarching value of LOVE is not within the family, the family can move in any direction. In today's world it's more likely to move apart than closer together. Even still, a child can be raised with love, nurtured and trained but with the principle of agency or free will, a child can make wrong choices.

I cringe when people condemn other people because of the religion that they belong to.

We have the responsibility to judge whether an act is right or wrong (keeping our thoughts to ourselves, hopefully)... not the spiritual state of the person who did the right or wrong. Otherwise, without the guidance of the Holy Ghost or Holy Spirit, we would never come to any conclusions regarding the "rightness" or "wrongness" of any thought, word or deed. We have the responsibility to judge but to judge someone's final outcome in the grand scheme of things is, in my opinion, wrong. If something is wrong then we have an obligation to help IF help is wanted. Or if it is one of our offspring who is on a road to destruction, we have the legal responsibility to take the child / young adult to a place where they can get help. They will always have the choice to do as they please but we will be able to say that we have done what we can to help them be productive members of the family and society.

Free
OnKci

Re: Best Ways To Keep Your Kids From Becoming Meth Addict

I was brought up in a catholic home, I was baptized had first communion all of it. I went to a catholic school grades 1-5 we had religion every morning and chruch. .My dad and my grandmother raised me. We said grace we said our prayers on our knees at night and definitely went to church on Sunday.
My brother is an addict/alcoholic. My sister is neither and I am an addict...
The god of my understanding today is NOT the same one I grew up with....
I raise my kids to believe in God they do attend church with some of their friends SOMETIMES not all the time....
My kids have a mind of their own and it is for them to have their own belief. They have asked why I did not have them baptized and I told them that you don't have to be baptized for god to be on your side. he is with you in your heart and soul and you don't have to be to know he's there..
as far as do I think that religion will help keep our kids clean and sober NO I don't. BUT I do believe that teaching them the value of our higher power and that it comes from with in you and not a set of man made rules is a beginner.
Cuz for me that is what religion is - it is a book that is man made and for me it all should come from inside you not on a piece of paper.....
God bless....

sdm
sanjose

Re: Best Ways To Keep Your Kids From Becoming Meth Addict

My Father attended worship service a lot when my siblings and I were growing up. Additionally he was the Sunday School Superintendent and my Mother was the Church Secretary and we children went to worship service ALL THE TIME! In the summer we went to Vacation Bible School and to Summer Church Camp. When I got old enough I quit going for several years. I don?t know if there is any correlation but during those years that I did not attend services I did a lot of things I now regret. I started going again sporadically when I had my children but never like my parents did.

I am not sure exactly why but none of my siblings or I ever became addicted to drugs. As a matter of fact I was the only child to experiment with weed and speed in the 1960s but I did refuse LSD and cocaine.

I have a whole lot of experience with church and church people. When someone tells me they are a Christian it means very little to me, when they tell me they go to church it means even less. I can tell you a lot of true stories about some churches that play religion and some church people that cause a lot of pain. I still have some issues with church and church people because of some hurt that occurred. However, not all churches and church people are like that. There are Christian Pharisees just like there are NA Nazis, but there are good Christians like there are good NA people.

I know of some people that I went to church with 45 years ago that seem to verify what was quoted in Dr. Mary Holley's book. I know these families even today, I know the parents and I know the children. The vast majority of the children are in their 40s and 50s and are not addicts nor have they ever been addicts. I even know some of their grandchildren that are in their teens and 20s and they are not addicts either.

Those families that I just referred to are families that take their Christianity serious and ACT according to the teaching of the Bible most of the time. When they fail they work to get it right. Anybody can say they are a Christian and go to church but it means nothing unless the actions are there. The actions by so called Christians and church people that have been described on this forum are in my opinion pathetic!

IMO real Christians that conduct their life according to the CORRECT principles of the Bible DO allow for a better chance at preventing drug use in their children than those that have no involvement in spirituality. Having said that I regret that I was not a better spiritual father to my youngest son. Perhaps he would not be a meth addict today if I did as good as job as my father.

I think there is some truth to the Dr. Holley book statements and statistics quoted by SFJ. My life observations of correct spiritual involvement by fathers, worship service attendance, and prevention do seem to match those quotes.

chris
gonz

Re: Best Ways To Keep Your Kids From Becoming Meth Addict

Quote:
The actions by so called Christians and church people that have been described on this forum are in my opinion pathetic!

Quote:
Oh well this group of people considers itself Christian but I beg to differ based on what I know Christianity is supposed to be like.

That's sad that people can be so judgmental yet know so little about an individual.

What we share here we do out of the kindness of our hearts, to hopefully help with addictions. Something we have experienced ourselves.

I think those are harsh statements being that nobody really knows anyone on this board.

Wow, I hope I raised my kids well enough to never say something so harsh about so many they know so little about.

sdm
sanjose

Re: Best Ways To Keep Your Kids From Becoming Meth Addict

Quote:
Sdmsanjose?s quote
The actions by so called Christians and church people that have been described on this forum are in my opinion pathetic!

Yes Chris I said that. I was referring to the actions of the so-called Christians that Katlin24 described. I should have made myself a little clearer. Katlin24 said:

Quote:

Katlin24 quote
They used their church as an excuse to beat the sh*t out of him when he was little. I'm talking 4, 5 years old.
Because his parents taught him that if he couldn't sit through their 5-hour bible studies (at 4 years old) he was a worthless piece of sh*t.

Quote:
Chris?s quote
That's sad that people can be so judgmental yet know so little about an individual.

Chris,
I believe that Katlin24 is telling the truth therefore I do not have to know those individuals to make a judgment that they are pathetic. Yes that is right I made a judgment, not about their acceptance by God but by their ACTIONS. Anytime someone emotionally molest 4 and 5 year old children I am going to JUDGE their actions!

Quote:
ChrisGonz?s quote
I'm a Christian, I believe in Christ.

Chris I admire you for your boldness even if we may disagree on this thread

no more
mething
around

Re: Best Ways To Keep Your Kids From Becoming Meth Addict

Bottom line, the best gift you can give to a child is the family home. Sometimes that means in separate homes, but the child benefits the most by having 2 parents working in the same common goal for their children.

Problem is, our children are their own. They are separate in identity from us. They will make their own choices, no matter what we try to do to teach them.

I'm sure I COULD blame my parents for my drug abuse, but that would only confuse MY issue....I had choices. My sister didn't do drugs. Is that my parents' victory, or hers? God's? Even in the religious realm, choice is what God gave us in the end.

Free will. Whether you are talking with an agnostic, atheist, Christian, Catholic, Mormon....it's all about free will.